How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 7 - “Canning Randy”

Originally aired Monday November 1st, 2010

Here we are seven episodes into season six of HIMYM and we get our first real dud of the season. It’s not that it didn’t move major plot archs forward (it did - for Ted, kind of) or feature good guest stars (Will Forte and Bob Odenkirk - golden) or the right characters (we got a Marshall story!) - the episode just wasn’t very funny. 

Sure I laughed. Mostly at character and physical humor but where were the wordy puns? Where were the astute observations at modern life? Where was Barney!? All squandered away for plots that didn’t really go anywhere nor develop. The ending was touching in that Randy got to fulfill his dreams and Marshall got to stick to his guns but it wasn’t earned. Instead of cutting to Marshall’s office destroyed and their resolution, show Randy trying to get fired more. Do something. But no, just Randy’s bloody nose joke which instead of feeling like a callback just felt tired.

As did “Where’s the poop, Robin?” Just let it die HIMYM. Jennifer Morrison was enjoyable in this episode but there wasn’t much to get out of Ted’s story line. Robin’s commercial was also completely throw away and didn’t feel like it held the gravity it could have comedically. Her career ineptitude is beginning to get frustrating.

The most redeeming quality of “Canning Randy” can bee seen above. The real Halloween Parade - aka the Costumed Walk of Shame the day after. This was a clever, typical HIMYM invention that should have been given more time to play. Also squandered. As was any intention of a Halloween episode. Oh well.

Stray note: Jennifer Morrison yells “Key his car!” Umm, what car? Correct me if I’m wrong but Ted doesn’t have a car. Would he really drive uptown to Columbia? Come on HIMYM, your NYC verite was so good. 

-Alex (popculturebrain)

The Amazing Race- Season 17 Episode 6- “Run, Babuschka, Run”

Last night’s leg of the amazing race, set in beautiful St. Petersburg, Russia, was a treat for Race fans. Not only did it feature a choice between two seemingly ridiculously difficult detour choices, but also colorful locals, literal shit shovelling, and babuschkas. Babuschkas!

Anyway, all the teams got bunched up traveling from Narvik to St. Petersburg, so it was a free-for-all once teams hit the city. They all made their way to some columns that directed them to their detour: classical music or classical film. In music, teams would have to correctly identify the three pianists playing three specific pieces in a sea of pianists playing. Film was about finding a strip of film that was being shown on loop in a sea of film strips. Both were utterly maddening for the teams, and you need look no further than the fact that all three teams who chose to do film (the needle in the haystack challenge) finished before anyone got the music. So Jill/Thomas, Brook/Claire, and Kevin/Michael raced to the front of the pack. Gary/Mallory, Nick/Vicki, and Nat/Kat all opted to switch detour tasks from the music, but, despite a mini anger tantrum, Chad/Stephanie managed to work through the music.

From there, teams made their way to Palace Square, where they were directed to the town of Alexandrovskaya where they found their roadblock. Teams had to don traditional garb (enter the babuschkas), and plant a row of 50 potatoes, complete with fertilizer. The only drama in this was teams having trouble finding said fertilizer, but, after everyone had their requisite “OMG it’s poop!” freakout, everyone did the task with ease and little griping. But the Russian locals were great color commentators.

From there, teams made their way to the pit stop, St. Isaac’s cathedral, or, rather, a park near the cathedral. Jill & Thomas made it to the mat first, followed by Brook/Claire, Kevin/Michael, Nat/Kat, Chad/Stephanie, and Gary/Mallory. Team Tats, who were trailing all leg after having so many problems with the detour that they actually switched back to their original choice of music, came in last, but were spared by a non-elimination leg. I was actually glad to see this, as they’ve grown on me, with their lack of bickering and comic relief-ness.

Other Assorted Thoughts:

•Jill is having a harder time hiding her resentment about everything Thomas says or has claimed to have done.

•Quote of the episode: “I’ve got a lot of manure. it’s kind of been a theme of this leg.”- Mallory

•Stephanie actually threw the shovel into the pile of manure so whoever was next would have to climb in to get it. That person? Adorable, pocket-sized Mallory.

-Nate (LevyOnTV)

The League - Season 2 Episode 7 - “Ghost Monkey”

Originally aired October 28th, 2010

Silly. Just down right silly. In previous reviews, we’ve (I’ve) discussed at length the balance The League strikes between the outrageous and the realistic. Here in an episode aptly titled “Ghost Monkey” all that is thrown out the window (literally) in lieu of one of this show’s most enjoyable and crazy episodes to date. 

Again we have several plot lines that all converge. Kevin and Jenny attempt an adult Halloween by bringing alcohol and slutty costumes out Trick or Treating with their daughter. Pete mindfucks Ruxin when he gives him control of his line up for the week. And Taco steals a monkey from the petting zoo, only for it go crazy in response to Andre’s Pandora playlist and get itself thrown out the window. In the end Ruxin is the crazy paranoid one, Jenny has to wear a fat frog costume, and the monkey rapes the frog head. And that’s not even going into Pete’s wicka date, Andre’s “poor girl” or the valiant return of Mr. McGibblets.

The Pete and Ruxin plot line probably had the most legs. Kroll proved himself the MVP of this episode and displayed comedic genius in his deterioration. Andre’s “poor girl” move again drew similarities to How I Met Your Mother - as did a lot of this episode. Key laughs came from Kevin’s desire for the brownie costume, the whole car scene (especially Andre’s music), and “Sexy museum curator.” Could have done without Taco’s song - which are beginning to become tedious. It ran just a bit too long. 

In general it was nice to see them fully commit to a Halloween episode and go full on fritata. 

-Alex (popculturebrain)

Survivor- Season 21 Episode 7- “What Goes Around Comes Around”

So, I think I’ve figured out that there are a total of 3 people I like this season of Survivor, and one of them is Jeff Probst. The other two are Jane and Fabio, and so, you can expect a lot of pro-Jane and Fabio bias in these recaps from now on. On to the bullet points:

•Returning from their tribal council, the Espadans decide that Alina should be the next person voted out, not Dan, who, may I reiterate, CAN BARELY WALK. Is there any question why I hate this entire tribe?

•At LaFlor, Marty is talking about what an amazing player Marty is. Which is great foreshadowing for the fact that Marty makes one of the stupidest moves in Survivor history later in the episode.

•The reward challenge involves throwing balls into a net while a member of the other tribe tries to block you. Marty connects straight with Chase’s groin. It’s kind of funny. Jane sits out. Dan is utterly pathetic. Also, Fabio pees in the pool. Really, it’s just Fabio and Jane. Everyone else is kind of dead to me. Espada ultimately wins.

•On the reward, a big Nicaraguan breakfast, they have to milk their own cows. NaOnka looks slightly mortified. Plus, the cow had an artificial leg, so she had to hate it. Not really, I’m just making fun of NaOnka’s completely irrational hatred of  artificial limbs. Espada gets really emotional about the reward meal. Except for NaOnka. She was probably just thinking about artificial limbs.

•Jane, who has been doing all the work for her tribe, catches multiple fish, but sneaks off into the jungle to eat one of them on her own. God, I love this woman. She calls it her own personal food reward. Love. Nothing but love.

•The Immunity challenge involves rolling a ball down the chute which other tribe members direct to try to break tiles. There’s a bunch of bickering in LaFlor while Espada works well together and eventually wins.

•LaFlor is splitting between Jill and Marty again to flush out the idol, but Sash and Brenda come up with a plan: tell Marty to give them the idol and in return, they’ll vote out Jill. Marty, because he has more brain function than a comatose slug, sees right through this plan and refuses to do it. Or at least he says he’s going to not do it, BUT THEN HE DOES IT. Did they recruit everyone on this season from the short bus? Sash thinks he’s a power player now, but that’s only because everyone on this season is an absolute idiot, and in the land of the absolute idiots, the only-mostly-an-idiot is king.

•Tribal is uneventful until the idol gets discussed. Sash tells everyone the idol is in his pocket, and then Jeff asks Marty what happened and even Jeff seems befuddled by how stupid Marty is. Also, jeff absolutely tries to stir up shit by asking Sash if he’d be willing to give Brenda the idol, and Sash backs down, and accidentally says that he’d be willing to unless he stops trusting them, wait, he means they stop trusting him. Major Freudian slip there, but, even more idiotically, no one seems to care about what Sash just said. Jesus, these people irk me. On this case, yes, even Jane and Fabio. But, for serious, Fabio and Jane power-alliance, anyone? Pretty please, with a medallion of power on top? Anyway, Jill ends up getting voted out, because I guess these people decided not to lie to Marty after all. Whatevs? Just let Jane and Fabio make it farther. That’s all I care about.

-Nate (LevyOnTV)

One Tree Hill - Season 8, Episode 6 - “Not Afraid”

Original Air Date - October 19, 2010

I. Love. Halloween. I. Loved. This. Episode.

Clay and Quinn- I feel so bad for Quinn. Girl’s a wreck! A gun though, seriously. Deb started that trend, then Brooke, now Quinn. Seriously, people. I have a feeling Quinn’s little departure to South Africa (that’s where she’s going, right?) will be an excuse for the writers to fast forward a bit. I’m not sure if I’m okay with this or not, because I’m really anxious to meet the new baby, but at the same time, One Tree Hill has no sense of time. So. We shall see. But Quinn, really. Get better. AND SOMEONE CATCH psycho!Katie.

Brooke and Julian- Irritating, irritating, irritating. Horrible mother-in-law: check. Horrible mother-in-law who is controlling: check. Son who is apparently a mama’s boy: check. Unhappy!Brooke: check, check, check. Girl can NOT catch a break! She just wants the things she can afford for her wedding. But no, Mrs. Whatever Her Freaking Last Name Is can’t just help pay. It has to be done her way. I’m hoping for a cat fight.

Haley- I LOVED HER COSTUME. I swear, my best friend and I laughed for probably ten minutes. I’m only really mentioning Haley because we finally caught a glimpse of her crisis center buddy who talks really strangely on the phone. I’m really interested to see where this is going to go.

Mouth and Millie- You tell him, Millie. You guys are MEANT to be together. Seriously. And Millie is totally showing him this by rubbing it in his face that he won’t have her. And I’m TOTALLY okay with this. Like. A lot. Her Gaga costume. Love. I just. LOVE.

Chase and Mia- Chase completely flew off the deep end at Mia for no good reason at the beginning of the episode. Rude. Then he apologized. And I felt better. That’s really all I have to say. High hopes!

I loved this episode a lot. Oh, did anyone catch that the crisis center singer chick’s performance number was 23? I caught that!
I can’t wait for this cat fight. 

Submitted by sierraisntdeepx

Glee - Season 2 Episode 5 - “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” 

I stole this screencap from the A.V. Club, because, how could I NOT?

Also, to anyone who follows this up with a comment that looks anything like, “Well if you don’t like it, stop watching!!11,” I. WILL. FIGHT YOU.

It’s a funny thing, going into Ryan Murphy episodes in state of absolute dread. The man gave this show life, but he seemingly has no qualms about destroying it from the inside. It’s his modus operandi, but at least in the cases of Popular and Nip/Tuck, it was all 100% his material to destroy. Glee has the added factor of 1.) being Ian Brennan’s idea in the first place and 2.) having other’s “creations” (and yes, I realize Britney Spears, for example, is really the creation of music writers, marketing teams, and shock value, but you should know what I mean — the brand of Britney Spears and her as a performer) to toy with.

Considering how all three writers share the responsibility of telling the Glee story*, you’d think that they’re also take turns in the big event episodes — especially after how critically-panned “The Power of Madonna” was for its introduction of the ‘music before story’ approach (an approach “Britney/Brittany” took to the next level, even with adding a non-Britney song as a bookend) to Glee. So it’s surprising that Ryan Murphy is still taking charge of these particular episodes.

Then again, if Brad Falchuk were given the Super Bowl episode, for example, he’d probably kill off Burt to the sounds of Rachel confusingly and inappropriately belting “Streets of Philadelphia,” and it would be the most depressing musical tribute episode ever, thus stopping all tribute episodes on Glee and any television show.

…

Actually, on second thought, I’d love for that to happen. Sorry, Burt. Sorry, Springsteen. Sorry, Universe.

This episode will also make Ryan two for two on gimmick episodes this season — we have yet to see what a typical Glee episode from Ryan will be like in season two. Not that there’s anything “typical” about any Ryan Murphy episode (of anything), but you know what I mean.

*I’m sorry, but if you don’t believe in the 3 Glee’s theory, I find you absolutely hopeless, and I suggest you just stop reading this. I don’t even know why you’re reading this. Might I direct you to Fuck Yeah Glee (Ship) Secrets? I’m sure you’ll enjoy it there.**

**Ryan Murphy brings out the bitch in me.***

***The condescending nature is always there though.

On my first viewing, I didn’t completely hate the episode. Yes, I hated Will (he won the Worst Character EVER award for this week, as he tends to do with episodes where Artie’s not the worst — but Artie was an extremely close second, even with just a few lines), but I was somewhat relieved that the Rocky Horror musical within the episode was intentionally bad. I think. That’s what I got out of it. I hope. And I found it refreshing for Finn to have a storyline outside of Kurt, Rachel, and grilled cheese…until I remembered how annoying it is that he is so. damn. insecure. (He has his popularity that he realized wasn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things in the PILOT EPISODE. Why is he so obsessed with the acceptance of his peers? Why hasn’t Ryan Murphy left this show yet?) And I remembered how worried I was by the news of Cory Monteith working his ass off to lose weight and get those lovely abs for this episode awhile back (even though it wasn’t nearly as bad as what Mark Salling went through a the beginning of the first season). And I was happy that most of the characters were written as something other than horrible…but then I realized most of the other characters had absolutely anything to do, so of course they weren’t awful. But then again, I didn’t go into “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” with the same expectations as I had for “Britney/Brittany.”

Prior to the episode, it didn’t so much upset me that this episode and these covers would be many people’s first exposure to The Rocky Horror Picture Show as it did that there are people who will (and from what I’ve read, do) actually find this episode superior to the original stage show and film. At its very best (which isn’t great, I assure you), “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” is a cheap homage (if you squint?) to its predecessors, and at its worst, it’s a bastardization and a spit in the face of anyone who actually cares about the spirit of Rocky Horror. A bit extreme? Yes. Inaccurate? I don’t really think so.

I grew up watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show on VH1 with my mom every Halloween. I have an awful memory as it is, but I’m pretty sure I had absolutely no idea what was going on by the time the movie got to the third act (and to tell the truth, I just watched the movie on Sunday, and I can still pretty much say the same thing). I did eventually figure out that the third act is about a hop, skip, and a jump away from soft-core porn, which sure as hell isn’t going to happen on any network show. But since I’ve come to realize that my story of childhood memories of yearly Rocky Horror viewings (despite the maturity of the film) is a story that a lot of other people can relate to, it’s even more ridiculous that it has to be completely sanitized for a show that is pretty much a caricature of a family show (which, if people actually read the very good GQ article instead of just looked at the shiny pictures and complained about the corruption caused by 24-28 year olds being 24-28 year olds instead of the corruption caused by a perverted man who shouldn’t even still be working in the first place, they’d know that was pretty much Ryan’s intent). The demo they’re trying to censor this all for is the same demo that thinks Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift are role models.

Don’t you just love it when I bring the social commentary? Pretty soon I’ll be talking about “back in my day” and the crazy noise the whippersnappers today call “music.” 

The one thing I can’t completely fault Ryan Murphy on (but don’t worry, he still has quite a bit of fault) is the Frank-n-Furter situation. In case you were unaware, The Stamos was originally supposed to take on that role, but Fox made Murphdalurph scrap that plan and stick with a female, because…trannies are bad and the reason for the decay of the American family? Blah blah blah Rocky Horror is about outcasts blah blah blah but no transsexuals allowed. Yeah, sometimes I forget this show’s on Fox too (if Glee were on FX, we’d have had transsexuals by the third episode, if not sooner), and the move to 8 PM really didn’t help the case. But fear not, gentle readers — there’s still a place to blame Ryan Murphy in this mess. I don’t need to hear Mercedes scream (seriously, that’s what the entire song sounds like to me, and there’s a reason this song is one of the five Glee songs I will ALWAYS skip on iTunes) about being from “sensational Transylvania,” either. I’m not up in arms about having a female Frank-n-Furter, but I am tired of screaming Mercedes (even if I do giggle and say “key change!” every time she starts screaming in “Don’t Stop Believin’ 2.0), and this really is not a song you scream. I will say this every chance I get, but Santana should’ve been Francine-Furter.

Yep, Francine-Furter is what I’m calling this whole mess now.

I can already hear the shouts of hardcore Gleeks (who really are about as shallow as it comes) in protest to my obvious decision to write-off Amber Riley in this role due to her appearance as compared to girls like Lea and Dianna (and this criticism would probably come from those Gleeks who dedicate a considerable amount of time posting about Lea Michele’s legs and Dianna Agron’s…blondeness?). Now, I’m obviously not saying a woman can’t play this role. “If you can dream it, be it,” after all. But even diluted and “family friendly,” the role of Frank-n-Furter/Francine-Furter needs to ooze sex appeal and sensuality. And it’s subtle, which is something Amber Riley’s Glee songs rarely exhibit. This is the only way Francine-Furter can still somehow work. When you hear this song, you should want to have dirty hot sex (sorry, kiddies) with the singer, male/female/undecided/WHATEVER – you don’t even need to know what they look like beforehand. Just hearing the Glee version made me want to swear off sex even more than usual.

Yeah, sorry for the over share, but it needed to be said.

So because I touched upon it earlier, I need to go further into the fact that Will Schuester is not only one of the worst characters the show, but he’s one of the worst characters on television right now. And television has meth dealers as likable protagonists. When Glee began, I truly believe Will cared about the kids in the glee club, despite his misguided ways (disco, rapping, inappropriate student-teacher relations, etc.). In the pilot, when Terri tells him he’s just trying to vicariously relive his glory days, I, like the rest of us, believed that she was just overreacting because she was insane (really, she’s one of the sanest — albeit, woefully misguided — people on this show when you think about it), but there has been so much since then that completely supports her statement.

Let’s take a tally, shall we:

• Gets jealous that The Stamos “made [Emma] better”
• Figures that if he had just taken Emma to Rocky Horror, that would’ve ‘fixed’ her (and hey, if her being ‘fixed’, would lead to him getting laid, I’m sure he’d be ecstatic)
• Lies about his love of Rocky Horror to get on Emma’s good side
• Completely misses the point of Rocky Horror due to his own self-absorption
• Presumably takes the fall musical away from the DRAMA club
• Completely disregards the kids’ initial protests that Rocky Horror is too inappropriate for school
• THINKS ROCKY HORROR IS AN APPROPRIATE SHOW FOR ANY SCHOOL
• Allows Finn and Rachel to be Brad and Janet without auditions or the opinions of the other glee club members, who already have to double up
• “Auditions, schmauditions. This isn’t a gleeocracy — it’s a gleetatorship.” – me
• Makes the kid in the wheelchair be the character in the wheelchair
• Suggests the effeminate gay kid plays the transsexual
• Completely disregards how uncomfortable Sam is in his Rocky costume (and only mentions it in his “reasoning” behind replacing Sam as Rocky)
• Removes Sam from the Rocky role as: a way to have a macho-pissing contest with The Stamos AND a way to get Emma to want him
•  Goes after another man’s girl, especially after explicitly promising that he wouldn’t (here’s a wild thought – it’s possible that not everyone likes to cheat on their significant others)
•  Gave Kurt’s GREAT Riff-Raff parts in “Time Warp” to Finn (which, okay, Cory actually sounded good, but STILL – when WON’T Will screw Kurt over?)
• Thought the kids’ performances were actually good
•  Proven wrong about everything by Sue yet again
• Didn’t keep his shirt off the entire episode
• Didn’t have chocolate for Becky
• Didn’t step down from his position as glee club director and hand it over to The Stamos, who has already shown to care more about the kids than Will does
• Didn’t shut that Mercedes/Francine-Furter mess DOWN
• Lacked the qualities of anything resembling likability
• Kicked a puppy <== on the cutting room floor, but I swear it happened

Feel free to add more to this list.

When it really comes down to it, this is not a good tribute episode, and it’s not even a good episode. It’s not necessarily a trainwreck, because it’s really too dull to be. It’s nowhere near as over the top as it should be, which is extremely surprising given the circumstances. For all my loathing of “Britney/Brittany,” that was an episode that went big. And on a personal level, this kind of episode is my greatest fear – I’m currently in the process of writing a spec episode script for Glee, and because of the focus and set-up, I know it’s definitely the type of episode that would be seen in Ryan Murphy’s “big episode extravaganza” Glee. Scary, I know.

And what did any of the characters gain from this episode? Finn and Will were the only ones with anything at stake, and I can assure you Finn will be every bit as obsessed with his status as he was before, and Will will never not be self-absorbed. So why couldn’t we put the focus on characters like Tina, who I would have no problem believing would be into Rocky Horror, or Quinn, who I’m curious to know why she would even know anything about the show given her upbringing, or Kurt, since I would say Chris Colfer was one of the few actually truly into making this episode (especially considering how many of the cast have even said they just don’t “get” Rocky Horror).

Alright, that’s all I need to say about Glee until the next episode in two weeks. Discuss amongst yourselves.

-LaToya (ironicalness)

90210 - Season 3 Episode 6 - “How Much is That Liam in the Window?”

Hey, remember how Mr. Matthews was an alcoholic and went into a boring downward spiral that culminated in him vandalizing the school last season finale and completely ignoring that fact that Naomi was about to get raped by Mr. Rapey? Well that’s all finally important now!

Okay, maybe the insta!rehab isn’t important, but the rest of it is.

The absence of Gay!Grandpa Teddy meant more screentime for Skeevy Oscar and lots of shirtless Liam (thus the shirtless Liam screencap instead of a Teddy is NOT a teenager one). One of these things is good. I’ll give you a hint — it’s not the one that includes tall, dark, and sleazy. I can’t even believe how much I missed that so-blond-it-almost-hurts old man. What is this show doing to me?

Fine, I’ll tell you what it’s doing to me.

The episode picks up the morning after Skeevy stole Ivy’s innocence and blah blah blah he eventually drops the bomb that he slept with both mother and daughter blah blah blah Ivy thinks she’s Marissa Cooper because her mom gave it up good to the dude who took her virginity, but she’s too boring for me to ever even care enough to want to see her OD in TJ blah blah blah why is this a storyline?

Also, I hate to say it, Adrianna needs to either have a new storyline — perhaps connected with actually going to the same school as all of her friends — or Jessica Lowndes just needs to leave this show. Option B is the best option, because I’m all for the cast members I like to save themselves. But then there’s always option C — Adrianna goes back on drugs. That always brought the laughs, right?

It’s just, we know the character has low self-esteem, but can’t they just transfer it away from being around pervy men who are way too excited to have someone else sing their dead nephew’s songs? Can’t they just end him the way the ended Javier? (It’s not like this show is original.) Can’t they just have Annie kill him? (It’s not like this show will punish her.) Can’t he just turn gay? (It’s not like this show is above that.)

I honestly didn’t even know who this girl was when I watched the episode, but now I remember her as the psycho who bought Liam at the perfectly appropriate for school bachelor auction. Whatever, I’m not the only one who had absolutely no idea who she was.

Anyway, Cray Cray (that’s her new name, seeing as how I don’t know what her actual name is, and I don’t care to learn it), wants to take Liam to go see the Cold War Kids at the Troubadour, and I’m starting to warm up to her. Liam says no (because the only music he listens to is the sounds of Annie’s whines of how her life as a murderer is so hard?), and I want to know why this show would tease me like that. Instead, we get The Like, because Beverly Hills is still living in 2004 or something.

And because this show takes place in 2004, Liam finally fulfills his lifelong dream of becoming Ryan Atwood (his replacement lifelong dream when his original lifelong dream of becoming Dylan McKay was dashed — becoming homeless will do that to you) by getting a place to live in Cray Cray’s poolhouse.

In case you lost count, that’s two instances of 90210 trying to be The O.C. in one episode and two more instances of this show being the worst.

At one point in the poolhouse — already a better set than the Beach Club, because I loathe the Beach Club — Cray Cray makes a comment about her and Liam being like Bella and Edward, and instead of being offended (but not surprised) by the writers even making that line exist, I was too busy being reminded of how Matt Lanter playing Edward in Vampires Suck.

Then I was too busy laughing hysterically at the emotional montage set to Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game,” because every time I hear that song now, I’m brought back to the movie theater where I actually paid to see The Informers and one of my friends would start singing the song every time Chris Isaak would be on the screen. Throw in the fact that Jessica Stroup in all her stick figure glory (love the Stroup — hate the insane weight loss that came with 90210) was in a scene with Chris Isaak in the movie, I couldn’t take anything about this song choice seriously.

Now I’m trying to decide which would be a worse torture — having to watch The Informers on a loop for the rest of my life, or having to watch this episode of 90210 on a loop for the rest of my life. Hmm.

Probably this episode, and here’s why:

Chris Brown is cray cray (not to be confused with Cray Cray), because he (and Liam) got beaten and has a bunch of scars…that, in the case of Liam, NOBODY EVER NOTICED UNTIL NOW BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T EVEN EXIST UNTIL THIS PARTICULAR SCENE YOU THINK THE WRITERS WOULD REALIZE THAT SINCE THEY MAKE MATT LANTER TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT EVERY CHANCE THEY GET AND HE SPENT HALF THE EPISODE WITH HIS SHIRT OFF THAT WAS AN ACTUAL PLOT POINT IN THIS EPISODE.

(Also, Chris Brown is a pretentious douche who can’t speak French or write to save his life. And dating Annie, self-preservation skills may be necessary.)

But wait, there was actually some stuff I liked. If you guessed “the stuff with Naomi, Jen, and Silver,” you’d be right, because we all know they’re the only worthwhile characters, right?

Okay, Navid is great too, but he does this thing where he just disappears from the show, and the only reason I’m not a fan of that is because it usually means he ends up on things like True Blood or Covert Affairs.

Plus, this part of the episode acknowledged the fact that Kelly is still alive and Silver’s legal guardian, simultaneously making me giddy (it gave me something more to write about in a recapview that’s already too long for a show this shallow) and bumming me out (all I want from this show is David Silver — he’s so precious to me). Kelly’s making sure Silver’s going to her therapy sessions with the new school guidance counselor, because since Jennie Garth wasn’t getting PAID (which is different from “getting paid”) by the 90210 peeps and left, Silver can’t tell her the truth about the whole Rapey thing. So there will be absolutely no discussion of Kelly’s whole backstory in Beverly Hills, 90210 about being raped and how that pretty much screwed her up for the rest of ever. There just won’t be.

So instead, Jen finds out that Rapey raped Naomi, and then this show gives me another reason to hate it, because I for one would LOVE for Jen to kill Rapey. NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND THE BODY, PEOPLE. Jen is greater than everyone on this show, and I wish they would understand this. She’s the Julie Cooper-Nichol of this show, dammit.

(The O.C. comparison #3. And even though it’s one I just made up and I’m grasping at straws for, I’m completely behind this one.)

This is what leads to Mr. Matthews admitting his alchy driving ways, and how he honestly believed that Rapey shutting the blinds of his office while alone with Naomi was for innocent reasons. Because, since it’s clear he remembers seeing this, the fact that he just shrugged it off at the time is another reminder that he’s completely useless.

Jen should get rid of him too.

-LaToya (ironicalness)

How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 6 - “Baby Talk”

Originally aired October 25th, 2010

How I Met Your Mother has given itself a lot of stories to tell this season. In no particular order they are: Ted designing the new GNB building, Robin being frustrated at her job, Barney searching for his father, Marshall and Lilly attempting to have a baby. That’s excluding the search for the mother and the mystery wedding alluded to during the premiere (of which Ted is the best man). It’s a tad frustrating then that they can practically only deal with one at a time.

Baby Talk was mostly Marshall and Lilly, which is fine. They’re a strong emotional core for the show and while this episode didn’t bring as many guffaws as recent ones have it satisfied on a personal level. Long time fans of the show had a lot to relish in with this one, especially how it fulfilled a long brewing issue between Marshall and Lilly. You see, long ago, when the show’s enduring couple moved into their own apartment it was revealed through a seemingly throwaway fantasy sequence that Marshall envisioned them with three sons while Lilly wished for three girls. Something so minute, that could have gone and went without meaning anything, comes to fruition in its own conflict at the exact right time. There was no need for it to be nothing more than a joke then, but now that they’re older and seriously considering children it’s only natural that it would come up. Spectacular. One a similar note, this episode did another long call back to an early episode (the pilot, I think) with Lilly’s student feeling her up and leaving a purple hand print on her chest. 

(Someone should make a chronological master cut of this show, not unlike the one that was done with Lost).

The other plots were more forgettable, but still resonant. All of them wisely tied back to children, being childish, and gender roles. While Marshall and Lilly dealt with gender preference, Barney, Ted and Robin struggled with gender roles in relationships. Barney’s story was nothing special but he got to give a nice moment to Robin claiming she was the “least needy chick he’s ever banged.” Somehow he made that touching. I don’t know how he did it. And Robin learned that she can be emasculating sometimes but that’s okay because not everyone has to fit into the mold. Ted was barely in this one. Laura Bell Bundy as the childish Becky was funny, but inevitably unremarkable.

Stray notes:

• This episode was super racy (the stripper stuff, pedophilia) especially for CBS at 8 pm.
• Barney all botoxed up was fantastic.
• Marhsall’s flashbacks to high school and the strip club had excellent follow through.
• Maybe it’s because I’m a male but I felt Marhsall’s argument for a boy was better than Lilly’s against one.
• No Halloween stuff this year I guess, we’ve come a long way since the Slutty Pumpkin.

-Alex (popculturebrain)

30 Rock- Season 5 Episode 5- “Reaganing”

This week’s 30 Rock was just chock full of characters with problems: Kenneth’s family was having money troubles, Tracy was being Tracy, and Liz was going to break up with Carol because her junk closed up last time she was with him. Thank God Jack was Reaganing, going 24 straight hours without failing to solve a problem.

This week’s episode kind of kept everyone separate from one another, with Jack and Liz stuck in a limousine for most of the episode getting to the bottom of Liz’s sexual problems. Turns out, when she was 9, due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, she was caught writhing with her underpants down under a Tom Jones poster. Her mom took all her posters away after that, forever locking in Liz’s mind that sex makes the people go away. Jack, was, understandably befuddled by this problem, and it ultimately stopped him from Reaganing. By the end of the episode, though, he had talked Liz out of breaking up with Carol by figuring out that Tom Jones is the trigger.

Tracy, meanwhile, was filming a commercial for the Boys and Girls Club of America, because he can’t turn down community service or that judge will make him join the coast guard. However, Tracy, because he’s Tracy, refuses to say the line, befuddling the director. Thankfully, Jack showed up and figured out that he could stuff Tracy’s mouth full of Jelly Beans and does the line himself.

Back at 30 Rock, Jenna figured out that she and Kenneth could con Carvel, which had given her a free Ice Cream for life card for appearing on Carvel’s float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. Kenneth didn’t know what he was doing at first, but, after being convinced by Jenna that it wasn’t hurting anyone and his family could use the money, went along with it. Once Jenna got caught, Kenneth, who must have been drinking hot beverages because he had some of the devil in him this week, decided to pull a long con on Carvel, brining in Kelsey Grammar, who had also been on the float. After seeing a fired Carvel employee due to their con, though, Kenneth’s conscience reappears, and he pulls out of the Best Friends Gang.

Overall, it was a strong week for 30 Rock, with Jack in particular delivering funny line after funny line. Speaking of funny lines, here were my 10 favorites:

“I’ll drop you off at the airport, then I’ll swing by MSNBC. I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut.”- Jack

“I don’t watch the Macy’s parade. If I want to see a 50 foot spiderman, I’ll just go into my rec room, thank you.”- Tracy

“You and I have never had an adult conversation about boning.”- Jack

“That does happen to men, I’ve faced it myself with Greta Van Sustern before her head transplant.”- Jack, on male performance issues.

“You have more sexual hangups than an adult chatline run by Gilbert Gottfried”- Jack, from the computer program they’re developing to replace Liz

“I’m sorry, I have an erection. I think it’s the sound of skateboard.”- Tracy

“Which everyone thought was a Dorothy Hamill, but was actually a Pete Rose.”- Liz, on her new haircut at age 9.

“With enough money, they could buy those magic beans from that hermit. We’d be rich! Hang on, why isn’t the hermit rich? Wait, he is, he has a lot of friends.”- Kenneth Ellen Parcell’s magical thought process.

“I mean, Frajer? Come on. I should throw some tossed salad and scrambled eggs at you.”- Frajer himself, Kelsey Grammar.

“Hey, you two want some party? $20 for a party, $60 to bite me during it, I’ll do stuff with a dog, but I get to pick the dog.”- The hooker who thought Jack and Liz were pretty uptight for hanging out under a bridge.

-Nate (LevyOnTV)